Monday, March 17, 2008

The Danger of Imaginary Friends



In the history of mankind, more lives have been lost and destruction and suffering caused in the name of Imaginary Friends than by any other concept. Most adults who talk to imaginary friends that tell them what to do are called "mentally ill" or "delusional," except certain special types, because evidently that kind of delusional is okay. This is because all of their real friends have the same Imaginary Friend because they're not allowed to hang out with people who have a different Imaginary Friend (per the Imaginary Friend, of course). So, because "everybody does it," and they're afraid not to because the Imaginary Friend has told them that "Bad Things" will happen if they don't, the people all share the in the special Imaginary Friend delusion and call it "religion." The even people build big special buildings that cost lots of money for their Imaginary Friend to live in, most of the time a whole bunch of them in the same town. Then they give It a percentage of their income, even if they don't have enough for themselves, because apparently Imaginary Friend needs money too.

Since the special Imaginary Friend kind of delusion is protected -and even encouraged- by their leaders, it's even more okay. Because, come on, if the people don't have to think for themselves because their Imaginary Friend does it for them and tells them what to do, that can only be good for the government, right? Think about it. If the government can convince the poor gullible people that Imaginary Friend wants them to support the government's policies even when they're foolish and that if they don't, "Bad Things" will happen, that can only be good for the government.

When the people meet somebody with a different Imaginary Friend, they argue about which Imaginary Friend is better. Then, because it's an argument that can't be won because it's about Imaginary Friends, everybody gets mad and calls all the real friends they know who have the same Imaginary Friend so they can have a real war with the people with the different Imaginary Friend, to prove whose Imaginary Friend is the bigger badass - with real weapons, injuries, loss of life, rape, pillaging and destruction to back it up.

That's just silly. I don't want to play.

4 comments:

Brunhilda said...

How very well put! I don't want to play either.

Loving Annie said...

War is not something I want to play, not even in imaginary play, let alone for real. I wish nobody fought like that, period. Hello, whatever happenned to good old negotiations ???

And... Hmmm, what do I call my blog friends ??? I mean they aren't real life friends because I don't see them regularly and go out to eat with them, but some of them I talk to on the phone and I like them when I read about their lives, and some of them like some of them but not others of them and :)

Just yanking your chain, Dr. B !

Happy Tuesday to you :)

Romulus Crowe said...

Trouble is, those who put their faith in this imaginary friend believe their friend is more real than reality.

Therefore it's okay to kill people because those people aren't really people, because Imaginary Friend didn't make those people.

The odd part is, Imaginary Friend is always saying 'Don't kill people. Killing people is bad, m'kay? So don't kill people'.

Yet those who are the Imaginary Friend's representatives translate this as 'Thou shalt not kill, unless it's someone who doesn't agree with you. Then it's not really killing, it's re-education'.

In the ten commandments, Spook Pal made his position clear in words of one syllable. Although after that, he tells his chosen people to kill everyone in sight so go figure.

I don't get it. Anyone can believe whatever they like as far as I'm concerned but if they want to kill someone they should at least be honest about it. It's not because some sky dude told them to. It's because they're violent and stupid.

If there is a God, then he'd better be prepared to set aside some time when I get there. I have a few questions...

Kate said...

Awesome.