Gingerbread Porn

Apparently I'm to go to jail for this activity, but one of the treats you're likely to find around here this time of year are my -ahem- special gingerbread people. The recipe is most tasty, but it's the creativity with nonpareils and attention to detail in the decorating process that keeps people squealing with perverse delight and begging for more.

Doc's Anatomically Correct Gingerbread People

Cream in mixer:
1 cup butter (room temp)
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
2 eggs (room temp)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Sift dry ingredients twice and slowly add to creamed mixture but stop mixing as soon as incorporated into the wet stuff so you don't overwork the dough & make it tough:
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
2 teaspoons ground ginger
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground mace
5 cups cake flour (do not substitute!)

Divide into 3 or 4 portions & refrigerate for at least 3 hours.

Working with a little bit at a time, roll out the dough with a lightly floured rolling pin onto a lightly floured surface - it's easier with a silicone rolling pin.

Cut out desired shapes & lay out gently on nonstick foil or a silicone baking mat.

Press nonpareils or raisins into the dough. Have fun.

(The more you work the dough the tougher it becomes so be careful!)

Bake in a 375 degree oven until lightly browned around the edges.

If you're using frosting, put it on after the cookies have cooled.


As an added bonus since today is my one year "blogaversary," and I don't know if I want to post 365 random things about me since I do that almost daily, here's a wonderful tweak on the gingerporn recipe.

Doc's Gingerdoodles

If you don't have the time - or patience - to fuck around with all those little nonpareils, try the same recipe with only 4 cups of cake flour instead of 5, again taking great care not to overwork the dough. Bake at 350 degrees instead of 375. Just roll the dough into little balls and roll the top half in some sparkling sugar (like you do with Snickerdoodles, hence the name) and bake until just golden around the edges. These come out more cake-like and are just delicious - especially with a nice mulled wine or warm brandy. Yummmmm.

Sangria for People Who Don't LIke Sangria

A friend of mine just called to thank me for the wonderful time she had at our midwinter gathering Saturday night. While she was at it, she asked me what brand of Sangria I served, because ordinarily she hates the stuff, but whatever it was that I was serving was wonderful and she wanted to pick some up to keep on hand. A lot of people who were here Saturday night echoed her sentiments, to the tune of a rousing chorus of "We hate Sangria, but we love this!" They drank all of it and I think I saw some of them sucking on the marbles from the serving jar late into the evening...

The problem is that most people associate Sangria with that stuff you get at the grocery store for $2.99. Blech. Please don't waste your time or your precious tastebuds with that swill. Take five minutes to do something lovely and make something drinkable. It really is simple. Just dump a bunch of stuff in a bowl and go. There are eleventy jillion recipes out there for Sangria. Here's mine and although it does vary somewhat depending on what I have around, it is consistently good.

Doc's Sangria for People Who Don't Like Sangria

2 bottles of good, dry red wine (preferably of Spanish origin)
2 bottles of sparkling white wine (Asti Spumanti is a good choice)
1 cup sugar
1 cup or so of rum, brandy, cognac or vodka, depending on what you have around
12 oz orange juice
12 oz pineapple juice
12 oz peach nectar
1 whole orange, sliced thin
other thinly sliced fruit - pineapple, lemon, lime, peaches are all good choices but use what you have - probably not bananas though - the fruit sucks up some of the alcohol and makes for a tasty snack.

Dissolve the sugar in the red wine

Combine everything but the sparkling wine & if you have time, let sit &/or chill for a few hours - if not, nobody will die if you don't.

Put everything in your serving bowl & add the sparkling wine. Serve over ice. To keep it chilled without diluting, put some of the original mixture in ice cube trays or a pretty ring mold and freeze, then float it on top of the final product in your punch bowl.

I like to use my infusion jar for serving this sweet elixir of life. The presentation is just lovely with the big-ass glass jar, the marbles in the bottom and the little brass spigot. If you get one, don't forget to buy the stand so that you can get cups under the spigot without having to leave the jar perched precariously on the edge of the table and don't forget the marbles, which keep the fruit from clogging up the spigot, which doesn't sound important until you have to go fishing a big chunk of peach out of there. You can also freeze the marbles to help keep your deliciousness cold.

This recipe easily divides in half or can be multiplied. Have fun and please drink responsibly - this stuff can sneak up on you!

Yummy Asian Balls

You may have seen something like this on your local Chinese Buffet. These little guys are just the yummiest little appetizer tidbits ever. You can bake, steam or grill them on little bamboo skewers that have been soaked in water and keep them warm on a warming platter or chafer. Your guests will be clamoring for more, and they're better if made a couple of days ahead and re-warmed in a low oven for a few minutes.

Doc's Hot Juicy Balls
2 & 1/2 pounds pork butt (you can use ground pork if you don't own a Cuisinart, but eliminate the sesame oil because of the extra fat in the ground meat)
1 egg
4 Tablespoons soy sauce
4 Tablespoons Nuoc Mam (fish sauce - available in the ethnic section of the grocery - don't freak out that it smells like dirty twat right out of the bottle - once it's mixed with other things and/or cooked it loses that pungency)
4 Tablespoons dry sherry
4 Tablespoons liquid smoke
2 teaspoons sugar
2 tablespoons corn starch
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
3 cloves fresh garlic
2 green onions - tops and all

Run all of this through youe Cuisinart until very smooth, or mince it all up very fine and mix it very well by hand. Form little walnut-sized balls (it helps to keep your hands wet to keep the mixture from sticking to your skin).

To cook them you can brown them off in a skillet or on top of your pancake griddle if you're making a whole bunch, then transfer them to a cookie sheet to bake in a 350 degree oven for about 20 minutes. Or you can run them onto bamboo skewers soaked in water for at least 30 minutes and finish cooking them on a low grill. - Makes about 75.

I like to serve these in a chafer with some Asian-flavored chicken or beef broth to keep them moist and serve a traditional dipping sauce with them although some people like to use prepackaged Hoisin or sweet & sour sauce (Although why anyone would want to do that when this is so tasty and easy is beyond me).

Dipping Sauce:
1 Cup Nuoc Mam
3 Tablespoons Dry Sherry
3 Tablespoons Sugar
2 cloves grated garlic
1 good-sized chunk of freshly grated ginger
1/2 cup grated daikon radish or Wasabi to taste
juice of 1 lime
Chili oil or chili garlic paste to taste

1 green onion - tops & all - sliced very finely for garnish

Mix well & chill overnight in 'fridge so all the yumminess of the different ingredients has time to intermingle. You can serve this as is or you can warm it up and add a couple tablespoons of cornstarch mixed with about a half cup of cold water and cook it over medium heat until it thickens. The sauce sticks to the meatballs better this way.

Doc's Butter Cookies

When I was a kid, I loved these cookies, specifically the pretzel-shaped ones with the big fat sugar crystals on top. As I got older and more interested in culinary pursuits, I found several recipes for similar cookies and tried all of them. Inevitably, they turned out too dry, not sweet enough or something else that made the end product not to my liking. I've never met a recipe I couldn't tweak, so here's my take on one of my childhood favorites.

Doc's Butter Cookies

2 cups butter (yes - one full pound of REAL butter - no substitutes)
2 &1/2 cups confectioner's sugar (sifted)
2 hard cooked egg yolks (sieved)
2 raw egg yolks
1 teaspoon vanilla extract (or vanilla infused vodka)
1 teaspoon almond extract (or amaretto)
4 cups cake flour (sifted - do NOT substitute all-purpose)
2 lightly beaten egg yolks
approx 3/4 cup India Tree sparkling sugar

Begin with all ingredients at room temperature. In a mixer beat butter until creamy then add confectioner's sugar and beat until fluffy and light. Beat in egg yolks and vanilla/amaretto, then slowly beat in flour. Separate into 4 roughly equal portions, wrap in plastic and refrigerate for at least an hour.

When the dough is removed from the refrigerator it will be difficult to work with. I recommend cutting it into rough chunks to make the warming up faster, so the dough is easier to work with sooner. It can get a little goopy to work with if your hands are too warm, but be patient. It will be worth it.

Using a walnut-sized or so's worth of dough for each cookie, roll into little ropes then shape them into pretzel or other shapes as you like and place on a cookie sheet (I love my Silpat mats or Release foil) Using a pastry brush, brush cookies with the egg white then LIBERALLY sprinkle the sparkling sugar on top.

Bake these in a 350 degree oven until golden brown around the edges - about 12 minutes or so. -Makes about 60.

It's just not December around here until these are on the table.

Okay I have loads to do today to get ready for the next round of partying on Saturday. Y'all have fun and let me know how yours turn out.

Zuppa di Matrimonio

In honor of my blog grrrlfriend Jesska's birthday, here's my recipe for Zuppa di Matrimonio, otherwise known as Italian Wedding Soup. The traditional way to prepare this is with meatballs (to symbolize fertility via - you know - their ball-ness), but I've found that it's kind of hard to eat meatballs with a spoon, so I just lightly brown the sausage & toss it in, thus eliminating the steps of mixing & forming the meatballs. It still tastes good - I'm talkin' "Smack Yer Granny" good.

The main things to remember about this are A: use the freshest possible ingredients and 2: as The Girl so graciously added to the instructions below (teach me to walk away & leave the posting page up on the computer), don't forget to put your love and positive energy in there. Oh, and always stir deosil (clockwise <|;o) ) to keep negative energies out of your delectables.

First, brine a whole chicken (couple tablespoons Kosher salt per quart of water + several split cloves of garlic - enough fluid to cover the bird) & let sit covered in a bowl in the sink at room temp for about an hour or so)
In a stock pot, over medium heat, cook the whole bird (you can cut it up to help it cook faster, but use the whole bird - skin & all) & garlic cloves in 3-4 quarts water (I just use the brining liquid + more water) with:
couple stalks celery (halved)
couple carrots (split)
1 very roughly chopped onion
Couple bay leaves
Handful each of parsley, basil & small sprig of rosemary
Kosher salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste
Loads of love and good energy
and more garlic cloves if you're Italian ;o)

When the chicken is thoroughly cooked (about an hour), remove bird from broth & strain the broth with cheesecloth, then add only the broth back to the stockpot.

While the chicken cools, peel the casing off, break into bite size bits & lightly brown 1 lb sweet Italian sausage


Pull the chicken meat off the bones and chop the meat into coarse pieces
Add the sausage & the chicken to the broth in the pot.

Chop & add to pot:
1 or 2 zucchini
1 carrot (the other ones are already too mooshy - throw them out)
1/2 lb small brown Italian cremini mushrooms (if you can get them - if not, use any fresh mushroom)
1 or 2 diced roma or homegrown tomatoes (none of those pale grainy flavorless things, please!)
a few handfuls of pasta (farfalle looks pretty, but I was out & didn't want to go to town so I used penne this time)
tons of love and good energy

Let simmer until the pasta is cooked to your liking & finish with more fresh parsley.
Serve in a wide bowl with a scattering of freshly grated Parmesano and/or Romano and/or Reggiano and/or Asiago cheese and some lovely ciabbatta or foccaccia bread with butter or extra virgin olive oil. Accept no substitutes.


This zuppa pairs well with a very buttery drier white like Grgich Hills chardonnay (the white wine for red wine lovers) or a lighter dry red wine like a syrah.

Buon appetito!

How to Make Really (Really) Good Tortillas

Okay, I've been playing in the tortilla dough again, but this time I have adequate tools to do the job. Here's my recipe, with pictures so you can play along at home.

Ingredients:
4 cups flour (the higher the gluten content the better)
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
1/2 cup fat - (either shortening, butter or lard - melted but just warmed, not hot)
1 cup hot (but not boiling) water

Put dry ingredients in mixer bowl with dough hook attachment.
Turn mixer on lowest speed.
Pour in melted fat and water around edge of bowl.
Mix until dough is smooth and elastic.
(You can get flames for your mixer at FlameKA.com or follow the sidebar link under "stuff I dig right this minute")

When the dough is the right consistency, wrap it up in plastic wrap & let it rest for about 10-15 minutes.

While the dough is resting, pre-heat your tortilla press pre-cooker and comal (tortilla griddle), both available from Tortilla Cocina Mexican Cookware if you don't have a store near you that carries these items.

Line the tortilla warmer with a couple of paper towels. This gadget, also available from Tortilla Cocina, keeps the tortillas warm for a long time. Your favorite Mexican restaurant may serve tortillas in a similar container. If you don't have one of these, you can cover the hot tortillas with a clean dish towel.

Once the dough has rested, pinch off a golfball sized chunk and roll it into a ball.

Flatten your doughball a little and place it off-center in your tortilla press. This one heats up and pre-cooks the dough a little, making them easier to handle. Don't let it preheat too long before you use it or it will get too hot, precook the dough too much and make a loud squeaking noise when you press down the lever. If this happens, unplug the press and let it cool by leaving it open for a couple of minutes, then replug and start again.

Close the press.

Pull the handle/lever over and press down, but not too much. If the tortilla is pressed too thin, it will wind up crispy like a saltine cracker.

Remove the tortilla from the press. Be careful not to burn your fingers.

Lay out the pressed tortillas on a clean surface.

Place the tortilla on the pre-heated (medium heat) comal. You should hear a little sizzle. The dough may puff up, or not. Either way is normal.

After about 30 seconds, give it a flip.


After about 30 more seconds put the tortilla in the warmer and put the lid on.

Store any uncooked tortillas in a zipper bag in the refrigerator for up to a week. The cooked ones will also keep in a zipper bag in the refrigerator for up to a week although usually they don't last long enough to worry about storage.

Never - ever - wash the comal except for the first time you take it out of the box. Just wipe it off. The more it is used the less it sticks. Detergents remove this natural non-stickiness and will make the comal rust. This is bad news for you and worse for your tortillas.