Thursday, June 28, 2007

Texas Friends

Suz, my best friend since age 3 sent me this & I thought I'd share just so you'd understand the difference between regular garden variety stick-up-the-ass friends and kickass Texas friends - just so you're prepared if you ever come for a visit.

FRIENDS: Tell you not to do something stupid when you're drunk.

TEXAS FRIENDS: Will shine a spotlight on you while your drunk naked ass is taking a piss in the bushes.
FRIENDS: Call your parents "Mr. and Mrs." Whateveritis.

TEXAS FRIENDS: Call your parents drunk as hell and tell them all the gory details about the ugly chick you tried to pick up.
FRIENDS: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home.

TEXAS FRIENDS: Understand that some wild shit will happen, and set up rally points.
FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.

TEXAS FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you grinning saying, "Dayamn...that was fun!"
FRIENDS: Cry with you.

TEXAS FRIENDS: Laugh at your dumb ass.
FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.

TEXAS FRIENDS: Steal each other's stuff so often nobody remembers who bought it in the first place.
FRIENDS: Are happy that someone picked up a one night stand and leave them alone.

TEXAS FRIENDS: Will Crawl naked into the room with a video camera and wait for you to "tag out."
FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.

TEXAS FRIENDS: Can easily write a book with direct quotes and detailed descriptions of their escapades with you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.

TEXAS FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you.
FRIENDS: Knock on your door.

TEXAS FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "Y'all put yer clothes on, I'm home!"
FRIENDS: Will try and talk to the bouncer when you get tossed out of the bar.

TEXAS FRIENDS: Will buck up and go after the bouncer for touching you on the way out.
FRIENDS: Will wish you had enough money to go out that night, and are sorry you couldn't come.

TEXAS FRIENDS: Will share their last dollar with you, drag your broke ass along, and try to steal free drinks for you all night.
FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.

TEXAS FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "You better drink the rest of that shit, you know we don't waste. That's alcohol abuse!"
FRIENDS: Want the money they loaned you back next week.

TEXAS Friends: Can't begin to remember who owes who money after taking care of each other for so long.
FRIENDS: Will say, "I can't handle Tequila anymore".

TEXAS FRIENDS: Will say, "Well, okay, just one more..." and then 2 minutes later, "Well, okay, just one more!"
FRIENDS: Will talk shit with the person who talks shit about you.

TEXAS FRIENDS: Will knock them the Fuck out!!
FRIENDS: Will tell you they'd take a bullet for you.

TEXAS FRIENDS: Will actually take a bullet for you.

Okay that's all I know right now. I have a bunch of polishing to do on the dissertation thingy so y'all sit tight until CCC Monday.


Natalia said...

Hmmm some texas friends stuff scares the crap outta me.


Dr. Shedevil said...

Natalia honey, let's just say you've been warned... ;o) Which part scares you?

If you can't run with the big dogs, it's best to stay under the porch.

Loving Annie said...

Texas friends are good friends to have.... I think I have three of them, and I feel incredibly lucky. They are rare and precious in life.

Dr. Shedevil said...

Thanks Annie - we think so too, but then again, we're partial.

Slick said...

Them Texas friends sound about like all my friends....scary.

Natalia said...

The drunken killing spree type fun. lol


Dr. Shedevil said...

Nat honey, there was nothing in there about killing - just a little friendly ass-kicking when appropriate ;o)

Dr. Shedevil said...

Yeah Slick, you'd fit right in if you didn't talk funny.