Sunday, March 25, 2007

Just When You Think They're Not Listening...

As I may have mentioned, The Girl and I have an open communication policy, particularly when it comes to issues about relationships and sexuality. There are no sacred cows and no subject is taboo. Ever. I tell it like it is and don't candy-coat anything. She knows all the lines that people will use to get in her pants and the appropriate shut-downs she can use if she doesn't want them there. She knows that men are like buses and that if one bails on her, she can wait 15 minutes and another one will come along, but the next bus will have more money, a bigger dick and know how to treat her right. She also knows that she doesn't have to marry the first one she sleeps with or the first one who asks. At least that's what I've told her, among many, many other things. Sometimes though, I've wondered how much of that wisdom, mostly gleaned from my history of really fucked up decisions, has actually gotten in.

Until yesterday, that is. We were sitting at Sonic in a neighboring town around lunchtime, sunroof open, jamming to some hot tunes and throwing down some fish sammitches while they're still around for the folks who "do" Lent (- damned ol' "limited time only" bullshit), with tater tots and cherry limeade when she informs me that The Boyfriend has been telling her how much he loves her and wants to be with her forever and how he wants her to be his wife. (Insert sound effect of car tires squealing on pavement then crashing into something, here.)

Donning my very best poker face, and with bated breath I asked, "So, what do you think about all that?"

She replied, "I told him, 'Hey dude - slow down! I mean, I love you and all but I don't even know what my favorite color is, much less who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.' Because, jeez mom that's just effin' scary. I mean, he's going into the military after graduation and I might not ever see him again and I just don't want to have to deal with all that shit right now."

Whew - and I thought she wasn't listening.

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Natalia said...

Well, you are obviously doing something right. Seriously! My parents were the same way. I find that people who have open communication with their kids have much better results.

Take this example: my sister's in laws are very religious. Her husband's mum doesn't talk about sex and thought my parents were too liberal. In the meantime, I have stayed in school, advanced my career, and never got myself in much trouble. This woman's daughter dropped out of school, has a horrid job, is living off the system, got herself pregnant out of wedlock, married the wrong guy (someone who put her in the hospital while pregnant), got herself pregnant a second time... I think you get the point.

I don't know why people think that speaking openly about what's real and out there is going to be detrimental as opposed to beneficial.

For my life...I don't get it.

OK...I am done ranting and taking over your blog comments.


Slick said...

Ha....your parenting skills must be superb. Sounds like she's got a head on her shoulders!

the domestic minx said...

Oh she's listening.
They just pretend they're not sometimes...
I own two of the types that will probably try any trick to get in her pants..
Blessings aren't they?

pooch48 said...

You've proven to be one of the very best moms I have ever had the privilege to know.
In as much as I am YOUR mom, I ought to know!
Ah, the beauty of old age!
That kid has it straight up!
Like I told you when you were a teen, I don't want to be a grandmother before 45. Thank you for obeying!
So get the crap back to your dissertation hell! I want to live long enough to see your shingle hanging!
So sayeth the mother bitch! Tee, Hee!