She Did It Again!

That Girl - I tell ya. We went to Austin for the All-State solo & ensemble competition Saturday and once again, she nailed her solo - Perilhou's Ballade - to rave reviews from the judge, Helen Blackburn, who is a pretty big name in flutes around here. After the performance, Helen clapped and said, "Brava! Excellent job! Do you take lessons?" The Girl said yes, and named her flute teacher, a friend of Helen's through their work with Texas Flute Society. Helen said, "Ohh! THAT explains it! Flute players from Fundietonfieldvilleview just don't get THAT good!" The feedback sheet was covered in lovely gushy praise as the icing on the cake. (That she has effectively written her own scholarship check to just about any music school she chooses is the candles on top.) Of course we're not proud of her at all...

This video is naturally not of The Girl's performance, because she never lets me into those performances with or without a camera, but it's the same music. The thing is our Girl performed it equally flawlessly and entirely from memory.


Next year, she's taking on Prokofiev's Sonata for Flute and Piano in D - a piece smuggled out of Soviet Russia during the 1940's that is so hard and so famous that it's known only as "The Prokofiev" in flute circles. It's also so hard that there's no memory requirement for the competitions. Her flute teacher, who has a doctorate in flute, is excited that The Girl is taking it on. She's had the music a week and already has the first page down. Here's a clip of the greatest living flute player Sir James Galway playing it:


Rock on, flutey girl, rock on...

A Beatbox Flute - Who Knew?!

We had the joy of watching Greg Pattillo and PROJECT at the Texas Flute Society's annual festival today. What a talented group of musicians! They were just as much fun to watch as they were fun to listen to. We liked them so much that we bought their new CD online at CDBaby.com. I recommend it highly.

Speaking of the flute festival, The Girl performed her solo for a clinician in preparation for next week's All State Solo & Ensemble competition. The clinician was impressed with The Girl's style and playing ability - especially for her age. I tell ya' the kid's a rock star!

Dayamn. Where You Been At?

Hi y'all. First, I want to thank everyone who was kind enough to take the time to email or comment to check on me, especially since I missed CCC Monday. No, I didn't meet some untimely demise, but a really really lot has been going on and I've either not had time or energy to get in and make a post, although I have been leaving a comment or two here and there on other people's blogs. I'm okay - quite well, actually - just way busy. Soooo I suppose an update is in order to cover the activities of the last couple of weeks. Settle in, this post is going to run a little long - even for me.

The Girl
We traveled down to the other side of Austin to Texas State University in San Marcos over Memorial Day weekend for the All-State Solo & Ensemble competition. The Girl made a second division on her memorized class I solo. She had a little bauble in the "easier" first movement, and never fully recovered from it. She played the second movement that she was so worried about the memorization almost flawlessly. She had a little stall in the third movement, but overall she did a great job. Then again, they say that a I at region is like a III at state so her II is flippin' awesome for a Freshman, really. She even got a little silver medal to put on her letter jacket - yeah, she lettered when she made All-Region symphonic band back in December. If I haven't mentioned it before, she's a phenomenal flute player. Better than I EVER was, and I was damn good, as in full-ride scholarship good.

I've been watching the situation with the boyfriend and it's not been meeting with my approval, especially since the Hickey Incident that I didn't blog about but has kept me from allowing The Girl to go over to his house again - ever - even with his parents at home, since clearly this type of behavior isn't unacceptable in their world. Recently some of his friends called her to tell her that even though he's been pushing for exclusivity with The Girl, he had sex with another girl at a party at their house, and that they had gotten into a physical altercation with him over it. Naturally, he denied it. To her credit, she told him "You know, whether you did it or didn't do it is irrelevant. I don't need the drama," and broke up with him. The friends called her a few days later to tell her they made it up so she took him back.

She and I went to his high school graduation last week and had an interesting and character-building experience. His family wanted us to sit with them. I was trying to not do that, but they were waiting for us near the entrance (grr). The dad was drunk off his ass, reeking of scotch and behaving inappropriately - big damn surprise. Now, this was the same high school I graduated from over 20 years ago and it was the White Trash Capital of Texas even then but oh. mah. gawd. There didn't appear to be any respect or decorum for the nature of the event. People were there in cutoff shorts, tank tops, flip flops, walking up and down the stairs, talking on their cell phones, screaming and yelling when their graduate's name was called so that the next name couldn't be heard. I couldn't hear any of the speeches over the din of the funkified white trash parade. It was not good and I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I am rather proud of myself for having the self-restraint to not commandeer the microphone and loudly proclaim that the graduation was off and if they would all kindly return to their trailers, the world would be a better place.

The Girl got really upset with me earlier this week over him. I told her I realized he was the first boy who ever really liked her back, but asked her what she could possibly see in him. He doesn't have a job, doesn't have a car, doesn't follow through and is mooching off his best friend & his live-in girlfriend (who are barely scraping by with their high school diplomas and minimum wage jobs) since his dad kicked him out of the house (again). He's been "gonna" get a job since we've known him and hasn't made that happen. He was supposed to swear in to the Army several weeks ago and still hasn't done it, putting him in danger of being arrested, and us being arrested for harboring if he comes to our house. The government is really funny about making sure people who have signed contracts with them hold up their end of the deal, and he doesn't believe that they WILL come after him if he doesn't follow through. Call me neurotic, but I'm not willing to go to jail and lose everything I've worked for for the last 10 years over his skinny ass.

There are millions of guys out there who would love to have a smart, funny, pretty girlfriend like The Girl - guys who understand that a date is when the boy picks the girl up, takes her somewhere and pays for it...not the girl's mama driving over to pick him up in another town (and/or taking him back home), then bringing him back to her house where she has to cook the food that she bought and watch movies for which she paid. He told me once that he wants to be a good husband and father and I told him that in order to be those things, he has to be a good boyfriend first. So far he's not showing me the model of a good boyfriend. I told him that I'm tired of it, tired of her being so worked up over him when he has not proven himself worthy of such drama and that I'm not going to allow her to see him until he gets his act together. Basically I dared him to go out and be successful - then, we'll talk about whether he's acceptable boyfriend material. I've been fortunate to have other strong women like my mom, my best friend and an unsolicited waitress at the ready to reinforce my hard line of "No Scrubs." I don't think I'm being too harsh about this. We'll see if he actually leaves for boot camp July 9th like he's supposed to. I have a sneaking suspicion he'll find more excuses as to why he can't live up to his word.

Between taking her to class with me, shopping for party supplies & band camp gear and having friends over to swim nearly every day, I've been keeping The Girl inordinately busy. She'll be at band camp 150 miles away all next week. Then she'll be too busy helping prepare for 3 parties in just over 3 weeks to even think about boys. Well, except for one of her best girlfriends - Jason, which is a story for another day.

The Home Front
Mother's Day found me with a brand new gas grill that I'm still trying to adjust to the subtleties of proper flame adjustment but I'm getting there (as seen in the above pic of the eastern half of our magic pahhhtio). See, our family is a little back-asswards. Usually it's the dad who does the grilling. Around here, it's me. The Man smokes a To. Die. For. brisket on the 4th of July, but overcooks my steaks, so I don't let him near my grill. The Girl and I like 'em bleeding and twitching and he has never grasped the concept of putting ours on several minutes after his. Besides, with his work schedule he barely has time or energy to eat, much less cook.

Since The Man's daughter and her family moved to a house nearby, we've been spending a lot more time with them. The Man's first wife and her husband have also been spending a lot of time there. It's a little odd to hang out with the first wife but I like her and I guess since it's been over 20 years since they divorced and they have both moved on, it's kind of a good thing. They are planning to come for the 4th.

Speaking of, my house is party central this summer and we have loads of reasons to celebrate. We are hosting 3 parties in the next few weeks. First will be The Man's birthday gathering on the 16th. I'm going to keep it simple and low-key for about 20 guests. I'll be grilling steaks over the fire pit and serving them with salad, baked potatoes and some kind of bread. Instead of birthday cake though, I'm going to make his favorite dessert - coconut meringue pie. The following weekend, Suz, my best friend since age 3 is getting married here. She's hired a kick ass blues band for the party afterwards and has already made arrangements for a couple of kegs and the margarita machine. Cool thing about that is that we know the margarita machine guy - I dated him briefly in high school, we've done business with him for years, and Suz's beloved graduated with his wife and they were really good friends. They'll be here for the party and depending on how much margarita machine business he has between the wedding and the 4th of July, he may just leave the machine here since he'll have to bring it back anyway ;oD. We won't be able to leave the house! My liver is screaming, already... Party number 3 is our legendary annual 4th of July bash, which we will be having on the 4th this year because of The Man's work schedule and our July travel schedule will make having it on either of the surrounding weekends a problem.

The Man
Speaking of The Man, we had a bit of a spat Friday night. Instead of screaming and crying or pouting about the situation, as women are wont to do, I gave him a very sweet Hallmark card, wrote him a heartfelt letter encouraging him to leave his place of employment and gave him the "Get Out of Jail Free" card from the Monopoly game Saturday when he got home from work. I can hear the brakes squealing, now... "WHAT!? You aren't working but you want the breadwinner of the family to quit his job!?" In a word, yes. You see, we were never better as a couple than the year and a half he was unemployed. He was happy farming his hay and cattle and doing a little consulting work on the side. He had energy left over at the end of the day to be "present" with his family and friends - not just taking up space or squeezing them in when he had a minute. He was a better husband, dad, friend, brother...he was just better and we all miss that Man terribly.

The job has literally sucked the life out of him. He leaves for work at 5:30 in the morning and doesn't get home until after 7 in the evening most nights and he has to work every other Saturday - in a place where the company culture is steeped in negativity and crazy-making bullshit. When he gets home he barely has the energy to eat dinner, then he passes out on the sofa in front of the TV and I have to wake him up when I go to bed - and it takes several attempts to rouse him. I've tried to be patient, loving and understanding, but it has taken a toll on our nearly 14-year relationship and has essentially killed our sex life (<--decidedly not good). Unfortunately that was pretty much the first thing to go.

Sure, the money was a little tight but we made it work and considering that we didn't have all the extra expenses like the gas from driving 90 miles a day, $200 a month in dry cleaning, all of the business lunches he pays for, and his work clothes, which includes custom made shirts (our sales rep Ann Atkins is fabulous, by the way), $200 shoes, $40 a pop for ties - on sale...the list goes on...maybe when you factor all that in, the job isn't worth the money.

I want my husband back. Our friends and family want him back, too. We made it before, we can sooo do it again. Besides, I'll be going back to work again soon so that will generate some income aside from what he can draw from the interest in his retirement fund. I saw him slide that little yellow card into his shirt pocket this morning. Keep sending that positive energy his way.

The Dissertation
Okay, so (Queso!? I LOVE queso!) I turned in my dissertation May 22nd, fully expecting to get slammed with another round of revisions. Didn't happen. Wednesday, June 6, I got the "officially official" official notification that I get to defend my dissertation July 19th and graduate July 21. No shit. Cool thing about my program is that they don't let you defend until the dissertation is at a point where they know you cannot fail. I received a few very minor edits from beloved second faculty reader a couple of days ago and talked to him on the phone about them last night. I was seriously prepared for a lot of shit to be thrown at me but he just wants me to expand my discussion section a little and add something about the Yerkes-Dodson Law. Then, once Her Majesty My Dissertation Chair is happy with it, he's happy with it. Of course, she said once he's happy with it, she's happy with it. So if everybody else is happy, I'm happy. Then I have to put together about a 45-minute Keynote (sort of like PowerPoint but way better) presentation about it for July and if there are any more minor edits, I can do them after graduation. Even though I've made all the appropriate travel plans and reservations, addressed the invitations and have ordered the academic regalia and signet ring, (although mine will be antiqued yellow gold with my school seal on top, PhD on one side & 2007 on the other) it doesn't seem real. There will be much partying going on that week, too, it just won't be at my house, but more on that later.

Shit. Now I have to start actively looking for a job. If you know of anyone looking for an already-licensed neuropsychology postdoctoral fellow in the Dallas/Fort Worth or Waco areas, send 'em my way. They won't be disappointed.

I think that's everything for now. The pool's warm enough to get in...I think I'll go do that.

Tools for Success

So Saturday The Girl and I attended Texas Flute Society's annual flute festival at the University of North Texas. It's a fun-filled flutey day that caters to players at all levels and we recommend it highly to anyone interested in flute. Just like any convention, my favorite part is always the exhibitors rooms. There one can find all things flute-related, from accessories like flute-shaped cell-phone charms (you know I bought one) music stands, and sheet music all the way up to a $23,000 solid 14K gold Haynes handmade flute with engraved keys.

The coolest part is that all the major flute manufacturers set up exhibits and encourage attendees to play the flutes (they also provide alcohol swabs for the germophobes among us). What better way to sell a flute than to let it speak for itself? The Girl had a wonderful time working her way down the array of flutes offered by the Dallas flute specialty store Carolyn Nussbaum Music Company. She got halfway down the line of about 40 instruments and out came the sweetest, purest flute music I've ever heard her play. Her eyes widened and she said, "OHMIGOD! Did you hear that?! This is my flute, mom." She didn't want to put it down. Surprisingly, it wasn't the solid gold Haynes, either. Mind you, it was noisy as all hell in that room between seasoned pros noodling around on the Chaminade and beginner band kids who'd never even seen a piccolo before trying to screech a noise out of one, but the sound The Girl got out of that flute was phenomenal and soared over the din. It raised the hair on my arms - and that's hard to do.

One of the Carolyn Nussbaum employees came over to help us (everyone who works for her is a flute teacher and they really know their stuff). We took that flute and a couple more with several extra headjoints out to the hallway where it was somewhat quieter so The Girl could really listen to what she was playing. Our helper kep running back and forth bringing more to try. We narrowed the selections down to two, including The Girl's original selection, but just when things were getting interesting, it was time to run downstairs so she could play her solo.

In the past year and a half or so she's been pretty shy about me listening to her play, but to my surprise she actually let me go in the room to listen this time. When she started to play, it was clear that she was fighting her own flute (which is a really nice one: solid silver, open hole, B foot, French pointed keys, solid gold engraved lipplate, garnet gemstone crown - nothing to sneeze at) to get it to do what she wanted it to do. I wanted to cry. She had outgrown her flute and in her shyness to share her playing with me, I had missed it.

All I could think of is that she will be competing at All-State solo and ensemble Memorial Day weekend and she doesn't have the tools she needs to be successful at the level at which she is playing. Shit. Soooo I cooked up a plan - an activity at which I am highly skilled.

Thursday was the last day of school and she only had to be there for part of the day. I picked her up and fed her some line about how Honey (my mom) had a doctor's appointment in waythehell north Dallas and since she can't drive in the crazy traffic up there, we had to take her. We picked mom up and were on our way. We pulled up to Carolyn Nussbaum's store and the kid was clueless until she saw the name on the door while we waited to be buzzed in.

The woman with whom we worked at the flute festival was off that day, but I had called for an appointment the day before, and she remembered us and the flutes we were interested in. We worked with Carolyn herself in a quiet, private room with an impressive assortment of flutes and headjoints based on the ones we liked at the flute festival. One by one we worked through the combinations of instruments. The Girl got some major lessons in body mechanics and got to do some more serious work on the piece she's playing at All State. Carolyn was fun, professional and didn't push any particular flute, but really worked with us to find the perfect one for The Girl.

Two and a half hours later, guess which flute we ended up with? The one The Girl picked out at the festival - not because it was the most expensive or the prettiest, but because it was the one she produced the best sound on. Sure, it was more expensive than I'd have preferred but I'll be able to sell her old one for about a grand (watch for it on eBay) and she'll be able to repay me the remainder of the expense in scholarship money down the road. --Oh, and it will be the last flute I ever have to buy. Evahhh.

The coolest part about the whole deal though, besides the accolades about being The. Best. Effing. Mom. Ever., is that having the right tool for the job has sparked a renewed interest and belief in her own playing ability. That's priceless.

tags technorati : flute, teenagers, motherhood, Muramatsu, Carolyn Nussbaum, Texas Flute Society

From the Galway Masterclass in Dallas

These videos offer up a tiny tasty morsel of the Galway Masterclass The Girl and I attended Saturday. We're still basking in the glow of the awesomeness of it all.





Man, I dig YouTube.

Wowed.

My daughter and I had the opportunity to attend a masterclass in Dallas this morning with the preeminent flutist alive today, "the man with the golden flute" himself, Sir James Galway. Oh. My. Gawd. Becky. The man is truly phenomenal. I have enjoyed many of his recordings over the years and shared them with my students, but they don't do him justice. Even the Girl, who at 15 often bears the title "Miss Way Too Cool For The Room," was impressed.

Sure, the man is a true virtuoso in every sense of the word. His 50 plus years of dedication to the instrument shine through in his impeccable tone and technique, and he was all too willing to share his secrets with us. I got chills when he began Debussy's "Syrinx" and gracefully and seamlessly segued into "Danny Boy," before we knew what hit us.

It wasn't just his incredible flute playing that got to us though. It was Galway's charm, grace, sense of humor and ginormous heart that won over every person in that hall today. Consummately funny, we laughed at the stories and jokes he told throughout the class. The Girl confessed to me at intermission that she was expecting "some boring old flute guy," not a good time. She added that she only agreed to go along because we would be in Dallas, within a couple of miles of Herrera's, our favorite Mexican food restaurant and knew that if we were anywhere near, we would go there for lunch afterwards. At least we know where her priorities are.

The first student performing in the clinic was a high school sophomore from Houston. The boy's flute wasn't functioning quite properly, so what did Sir Galway do? He carefully inspected the instrument, mumbled something to the effect of, "Oh, that will never do," and without hesitation handed the kid his brand new (as in just acquired yesterday) solid gold handmade Nagahara flute to use instead. That unflinching gesture of kindness and generosity to a child earned him a spot in my heart.

We learned so much today about embouchure, technique and tone and how most of us (myself included) have received incorrect instruction on, as he so aptly phrased, "how to do it," from those who received incorrect instruction from those who received incorrect instruction & so on... It will take a little practice to do it his way but the reason we practice is to get better, right? I'm always game for a good distraction. The most important lesson we came away with though was to play from the heart or it's not music at all. Of course, that's similar to what I've been trying to tell my students all along ("Do it like you mean it!"), but it sounds so much cuter in his lilting Irish brogue talking about playing from the heart, not the head.

The Mexican food afterwards was out of this world, too. It was a guuuud day.

(Yes, I know the picture, taken at the Morton H. Meyerson Symphony Center is really way past crappy but it was taken with that gawdforsaken Treo since I was too much of a spaz to remember to take a real camera.)

Golden Ticket, Baby

As it turns out, I did go to my daughter's competition today. Her band director, upon learning that I was not planning to attend, flipped out because apparenly in the last four years he's come to depend on me as a chaperone if I'm not judging at an event. He told her point-blank that he needed me there whether she liked it or not.

She played a Grade 1 solo: 3 movements from Bach's Suite #2 in B minor. For those unfamiliar with these types of events, Grade 1 is the most difficult level and if the student plays one of these from memory and gets the highest rating, Division I, then they advance to the all-state solo and ensemble competition held in San Marcos at the end of May. As of this morning when I dropped her off at the band hall she was not going to attempt to perform the piece from memory, per the advice of her private flute teacher, who is a professional flutist and holds a doctorate in music, so her word is usually golden around here. Somewhere between the kiddo boarding the bus and my arrival at the place where the competition was held, she changed her mind and spent most of the day working on the memorization component. Since I stay out of her way, I wasn't even aware of it until it was time for her to play and I showed up at the room where she was to perform to find her bug-eyed and blowing across the headjoint while fingering madly through the piece with no sheet music in sight. It was her gig so I didn't even think to try to talk her out of it. Kids have to learn by the consequences of their actions, right?

So I waited outside the room and listened through the door instead of going in like I've always done in the past. Toward the end of the last movement she froze but recovered and came in at an appropriate spot, keeping up with the accompanist. My heart sank. She's been working on that piece for nearly a year. She came out of the room dog-faced and said, "Guess what? (long pause...looking at floor...) I'M GOING TO STATE!!" Apparently the judge took a liking to her and told her that if she performed like that at the state competition she would probably receive a Division IV, but that she had plenty of time to finish polishing it between now and then and deserved another shot (maybe she's related to Paula &/or Randy?). She gave my daughter the Division I rating anyway and told her that she's looking forward to hearing her play again. The kid has the most amazing luck.

Oh, and now that it's all said and done, my sweet girl just told me that she's really happy I was there to share it with her after all.

What's a Mom to Do?

My daughter, a high school freshman, is a very talented flute player. I'm not saying that just because I'm her mom either. She has the awards to back it up, going all the way back to beginning band. She told me that she would prefer I not to attend her solo and ensemble competition tomorrow. As long as she's been in band I've attended her events, not only in support of her, but of my other flute students as well. While I am truly saddened that she doesn't want me to go (with the exception of her performances, she goes her way & I go mine at these things because I don't want to interfere with her socializing), at the same time I want to respect her wishes. From a developmental standpoint, the next few years are all about her preparing to leave here and make a life of her own on her own terms. That knowledge doesn't take the sting out, though. Sigh. I need to write a test this weekend, anyway.