She's Such a Brute!

I'm so proud of my Girl. See, this boyfriend that she met earlier this summer was getting clingy and whining about not her not having any time for him. Well she's drum major and has a job, so when she's not doing band stuff, she's at work. We barely see her either and she lives here. So she was tired of the whininess and in the process of trying to break up with him at his house. He was trying to argue with her about it, then he got mad. He grabbed her arm, pushed her into the wall and drew back his fist to hit her. He didn't even get his hand all the way back when he found her knee planted firmly and with great gusto in his testicles, then himself on the floor puking his guts out. She kicked him again, yelled "Fuck You!" and stormed out. It's nice to know she's listening to me, even when she pretends not to. Nobody has to put up with that kind of shit and if she had put up with it this time, she might be doomed to a life of abuse forever.

Go Girl!

Yes, I Let Her Do It

Put blue and pink tips in her hair, that is. It's just for summer and she has to cut it off before summer band starts, but what the hell? She's a seriously awesome all-around good kid. If the worst thing I have to worry about is her hair, I got nothin' to complain about. At. All.

Of course, it does kind of look like maybe I might have gotten drunk and fucked a parrot once up on a time...

A Monday Well Spent

The Girl and I traversed to our beautiful state capitol this weekend so she could compete in the Texas State Solo and Ensemble Competition today. Per the rules, she played the third movement, the Rondo (Allegro) from Stamitz' Flute Concerto in G (scroll down to Stamitz and click on 3. Rondo (Allegro) for a pretty crappy MIDI file that will at least give you the general idea of what she did). This is same solo she played at the Regional competition back in February but this time she nailed that tricky run that's bedeviled her since she started working on it last summer. The adjudicator wrote glowing happy gushy things on the feedback sheet and for her near flawless performance, The Girl earned herself a Division 1, which entails a gold medal and another entry on her already kick ass high school resume. Oh yeah, then there's the bonus: she just wrote her own ticket for a full-ride scholarship to any university in the state. Funny thing is that although she's excited and proud of her rating, she's even more pleased that she nailed that run.

To ice that cake, she received a phone call from a potential employer 5 minutes later asking that she come in for a job interview tomorrow. All's right with the world.

She Got It!

Okay so (Queso? I love queso!) for the next two years, if you ever come to our little town of Fundietonfieldvilleview, Texas or any of a number of other tiny Texas towns on a Friday night during football season, the girl on the podium - you know - the cute blonde one wearing the cape and directing the band? That will be my very own Girl. That's right. The Girl got drum major and when the announcement was made, she received a standing ovation from the band she'll be leading for the next 2 years. She's worked very hard to earn it, but while she was learning the music she was to conduct for tryouts, she was also helping the other kids who would be competing against her with their conducting skills. She's so amazing. I want to be like her when I grow up.

Hat Trick Plus 2

We just returned home from the annual Fundietonfieldvilleview High School academic awards ceremony. The Girl came home with the Outstanding Band Student award for the 5th straight year. She sooooo rocks. Hardcore. Drum major tryouts are Thursday. Keep your fingers crossed.

Right Side Up Again

We've all heard horror stories about insurance companies jerking people around when it comes time to pay on a claim, despite thousands paid in premiums. I am proud to say that didn't happen. My Texas Farm Bureau Insurance agent, Marc Lancaster out of the Hood/Somervell County office returned my phone call from Sunday at around 8:30 yesterday morning. I called in the claim a little after 9am when the main office opened and the claim was COMPLETED before 1pm. I had to go to the wrecking yard to sign the release of the vehicle to the insurance company and retrieve The Girl's remaining possessions and will have to sign a power of attorney & send it back with the title, but as soon as those make it back to the home office in Waco, they'll cut me a check for nearly what we paid for the car back in July. Granted, I'm not telling The Girl how much it is. All she knows is that she has to get another job - closer to home - and I'll be taking her to & from until she can save an as-yet-to-be-determined amount of her own money to get another car.

Marc told me today that our premiums will barely even go up because he's keeping us on the premium line & just adding a point. I hate to sound like a commercial, but Farm Bureau Insurance has branches in all 50 states. You should call them. Their coverage is more extensive and for lower premiums than any company I've seen. On top of that, they have the most amazing customer service - bar none. If you call Marc for a quote, tell him Doc sent you.

If you're interested, here are the pictures we took yesterday at the wrecking yard - with the car right-side-up. We never did find her paycheck. Then again, $140 is a small price to pay...

They Walked Away

It was the call every parent dreads. The Girl called in sick to work and she, her godsister and two other friends went driving around yesterday afternoon - in TWO cars, no less. With the price of gas, "cruising" is on my list of pretty-much banned activities, but we were at Suz's helping her move into her new house - where apparently the teenagers don't have to lift a finger - and I didn't want to make waves. This has always been a bone of contention between the two of us. She thinks the kids should never be "bored," so she pretty much lets them do whatever they want (her two have always been brats, too - big surprise). I think that if you keep them busy, they don't have time to get bored or in trouble. But what could I possibly know about anything? Nevertheless, the girls got "bored" sitting around. Nevermind there was plenty of work available that they would have been perfectly capable of doing.

45 minutes after they left, Suz's cell phone rings and my daughter is screaming something about a wreck and wanting her mom. She didn't call me because she couldn't find her cell phone so she used her godsister's & Suz's number is programmed in at #1. The Girl was crying and screaming, "I"m sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry!" As I calmed her down so I could find out where they were so we could get to them, all I could think was, "I'm so thankful she's able to make this call."

So we all loaded up in The Man's pickup and headed that way - down a windy, VERY bumpy country road. Apparently The Girl stopped so that the other 2 girls could catch up. When they did, she gunned it, lost control, hit a tree, flipped her Explorer and skidded many yards down the road, totaling her car.

Imagine driving up on this scene, knowing your child was driving that vehicle - yeah, the red one that's upside-down:
Or this:
Or this:

Interestingly, in a reflexive, protective move, The Girl threw her arm across Suz's daughter's chest on impact. Once the vehicle came to a stop, they both crawled out of the open windows. Had the windows not been rolled down, they both would be picking glass out of their skin today. Instead, they have only a few abrasions from the airbags deploying and on their necks from the seatbelts holding them in place. Oh, and the emotional toll on The Girl from losing both her beloved car and her equally beloved job in the same instant.

The police, fire & EMT guys said that they were lucky. If they'd been in a convertible, then most likely they both would have been killed or seriously injured. A convertible like the red convertible Mustang my goddaughter HAD to have, so Suz naturally bought for her. The car they almost drove but didn't because Suz's daughter isn't licensed yet and The Girl isn't on their insurance policy.

So in the postgame analysis, even though The Girl thinks I'm mad because she wrecked her car, I'm not. I am thankful to be able to call the insurance guy tomorrow about handling the totaling of her car instead of cashing her life insurance policy and finding myself in the surreal and unenviable place of having to plan a funeral for a child. I'm happy she's home watching TV and sending text messages to her friends instead of on life support or in the morgue. I don't mind being inconvenienced by taking her to & from school until she can afford to buy another car. I don't mind helping her find another job closer to home or even taking her to and from the new job so she can save money to get another car. I'm endlessly grateful that my only child, my precious Girl, is home, safe and mostly that she is still alive to be able to try out for drum major in a couple of weeks, go on her band trip, compete at All-State solo & ensemble and most of all spend another summer floating in the pool and solving all the world's problems with me.

Way to Go Band!

Man, oh man, our band kids here in Fundietonfieldvilleview, Texas are an amazing bunch. They competed in the UIL concert & sightreading contest Wednesday and earned straight first divisions in both. That, coupled with their straight ones in marching back in the fall, earned our little ragtag bunch of band nerds the much-coveted Sweepstakes Band award for the first time since the 2002-2003 school year. As "the mom that goes to stuff," I had the privilege of witnessing both events. From my seat at the back of the auditorium during the concert event, I watched 2 of the 3 judges bobbing their heads and appearing to really be enjoying themselves. During the sightreading event (where the kids have to perform a piece of music they've never seen before after their band director talks about it for 4 minutes), they didn't sound like they were sightreading at all. It was flippin' awesome.

Soooo, the party will ensue at my house next Saturday. It's going to be a blast they've worked hard to earn. This coming week is Spring Break for The Girl. Hopefully, we'll have the pool ready to go by then.

The Girl Is a Rawk Stah!

The Girl racked up yet another musical accomplishment yesterday. She earned a first division on her flute solo, the 3rd movement from Stamitz's Flute Concerto in G, played from memory. If you get a minute look the piece up. It's fun to listen to & The Girl says it's way fun to play. Earning that first division means that she gets to advance and compete at the All-State solo & ensemble competition in May. This is amazing considering that it's like pulling teeth to get her to practice - ever. Woohoo! Go Girl!

Truth is Stranger than Fiction

This weekend has breathed new meaning into the phrase, "Truth is stranger than fiction." To begin with, The Man had gotten lazy about some things and the situation was getting worse, despite my modeling the appropriate behaviors and giving gentle hints. I refuse to nag, but he was not responding in the appropriate manner to gentle attempts at correcting his behavior, so Friday morning I sat him down and discussed the problem with him in a very businesslike manner giving him graphic detail of my long-standing dissatisfaction. When I said my piece, he said (are you sitting down?), "You're right. I'm sorry," all in the same breath. Then he set about making it right and actually giving me more than what I asked. I'm still stunned.

If that wasn't weird enough, Saturday morning, The Girl came to me and told me of a good friend (16) who met a 19-20 year old Marine a few weeks ago. They had been text messaging and she said she was in love with him and was planning to sneak out of her house Valentine's weekend to go give him her virginity. Now I'm not the abstinence queen, nor have I ever preached abstinence before marriage et cetera, but The Girl was really freaked out - not necessarily because her friend was going to have sex, but that she's underage and the guy will probably bail as soon as he gets what he wants - and what if she gets pregnant? Then what? The Girl said she'd feel somewhat responsible if her friend got pregnant or worse and she knew all along what her friend was planning. "Besides," she said, "If somebody has to sneak off to do something, that's a really good sign that maybe they shouldn't be doing whatever they're sneaking off to do." I told her that if it was that important to her that maybe she should talk to the girl's parents. She said she didn't know how to do it and asked me if I would. I pointed out that she was running the risk of ruining their friendship, that her friend might not ever trust her again, and it could go all over the school that she's a snitch. Still, she was willing to take that risk in her friend's best interest because she didn't want her friend to get hurt.

So I got in touch with the mom. You know going into some conversations that whatever news you have to give is going to be so bad that the only way to tell it is to just tell it. Good thing that's part of what they teach you in shrink school. I'd hope that someone would be kind enough to give me a heads up if it were The Girl. I asked her to go easy on her daughter because we all know how slick guys can be and asked her not to tell that my daughter was the one to break confidence. I guess she didn't hear that part because it wasn't 20 minutes before The Girl was getting a slew of text messages saying, "I thought you were my friend, how could you do this?" et cetera. I have to hand it to her though. The Girl stuck to her guns and explained to her friend that a real friend wouldn't let her do something that stupid. This from a girl who says she never wants to go into psychology, haha.

When I asked if she'd heard from her friend this morning she said, "Oh she's not mad at me anymore. In fact she thanked me." Again, I'm stunned.

Oh, and over 5,000 visits already? Gee thanks y'all!

New Driver

Please don't let The Girl know I'm half in tears this morning. I can hardly believe that as of yesterday, my sweet, precious baby girl is licensed to drive a car - all by herself. You know, of all the "firsts" in a child's life, this one has to be the scariest. I'm about to send her to school alone, driving her own car by herself for the first time. Oh, I'm not worried about her. She's a good driver with a good head on her shoulders - very conscientious and polite, watches her speed (mine, too when I'm driving) and isn't a road-rage event waiting to happen. No, I'm worried about all you other fools out there driving around on "auto pilot" while you're talking on your cell phones, putting on your makeup, reading your mail, et cetera. Take it easy out there and pay attention please - that blonde in the cute little red 4X4 truck is my baby. I'd like her to come home in one piece.

Overall, It's All Guuuud

Friday, my dissertation arrived from the Proofreader - only about 2 weeks late but whatever. You know, you'd think that as strong as my writing skills are and with as many eyeballs as have viewed that document as it has developed over the last couple of years, that there wouldn't have been THAT FUCKING MUCH RED INK all over the goddamn thing. Honestly, I had a little bit of a come-apart over it Friday afternoon, but finished everything by noon today. I'm still waiting on official permissions from original copyright holders to use a couple of graphics but it should be on its way to the printer in a couple of days. None too soon, either. I'm so way past sick of looking at it...gaaaah.

In other news, The Girl's football team won their game Friday night, thus winning the district championship for the umpteenth year in a row. The good news is that the upcoming playoff game will only about 45 minutes away and will be played on Friday night. This, of course, is good news for the football team because it means that their game won't have to be canceled ;o) and The Girl's party will be celebrated on schedule. Aside from food, all we really have left to pick up are the HotWheels plates, plastic forks & spoons and helium for those badass balloons. The Man even hooked up the trailer for the hayride this afternoon when he came home from hunting.

Speaking of food, any suggestions for good (preferably blacklight-reactive) snack foods that are teen-friendly?

Last night, The Girl had her All-District concert. I had to have her happy ass at school at 6:30 am. Of course I came home and went back to bed instead of working on the proofreader's corrections but I'd been in the concession stand slinging popcorn all by myself from 3:30 until nearly 11:30 Friday night. I did get to work on the corrections for about an hour & 1/2 before it was time to go to the concert 90 miles away. That was enough time to wade through the first chapter. The concert was really nice, as always. The kids that make the bands are the cream of the crop so of course the music is good. The drive back in the new car was awesome, too - even in the dark and I hate driving in the dark. I had another band mom along and we could talk without shouting - even with that huge ass sunroof all the way open. I really dig that car...I might have to keep it.

The coming week will be busy. Monday & Tuesday we're having a new air conditioning/heating system installed. The old one is pushing 30 years old and the AC side of it went tits-up last week. We had the option of just replacing the AC at around 2500 with only the AC guaranteed for the next 5 years or replacing the whole thing for 6K including a 10 year warranty, a $500 rebate from the power company and a tax break, plus about a 35-40% reduction in our power bills year 'round. Needless to say, we don't have to be hit over the head to understand that sometimes you have to spend a dime to make a dollar. While all that's going on, I'll be painting this week - the master bedroom Monday, the living room Tuesday and The Girl's bathroom Wednesday. I'll try to post before & after pictures, but they may not be up until next week due to party-readiness. I knew you'd understand.

That's all I know right now. Y'all have a great week.

The View from Here

So - where have I been since Tuesday? Putting over 400 miles on my new ride, and getting sunburned from its freakishly large sunroof(s). Said ride (2007 Ford Edge) was lovingly delivered by The Man Tuesday evening. Since he's officially given notice that November 30 is his last day working at the crazy-making place (yippee!!) and I'm about to go back to work (any day now, really!), and will be burning up the highways in a manner that will make Texaco proud, I needed to get out of my gas-sucking Tahoe and get into something more economical while we can still get employee pricing.
Of course, although I've been researching them online and seen the commercials, I wasn't counting on the damn thing being so cute in person. Not to mention fun to drive, with great handling & road manners, no engine noise (seriously - my dad didn't think it was running when I showed it to him) and minimal road noise - even with the freakishly huge sunroof all the way open and barreling 80mph down the highway! No shit - and I am not making this up - in addition to holding conversations with The Girl using a normal tone of voice, I have been able to have actual cell phone conversations with the sunroof open - not just vented - but gaping all the way open - and it opens to double or more the size of a normal sunroof. It has the 3 things most important to me in a car-buying decision: leather seats, iPod jack and sunroof - and this one basically has TWO - one really fucking huge one in the front that slides over the smoked glass in the back so the folks in the back seat have a view, too. --Not that anyone ever really rides in my back seat, but if they did - wow would they be able to see stuff!

A few years ago I stepped down from an Eddie Bauer Expedition (I loved that truck!) to an Escape - again for fuel economy. While the little Escape was cute and all, it didn't always have the space I needed for hauling stuff and after the Expedition, it felt a lot like driving a roller skate, so I was wary of the Edge because even though it's waythehell cuter than the Escape, it didn't seem much bigger and I didn't want to be stuck driving a car I didn't really like again. Since The Man brought the Escape home in the dark, just like this car, and one 16-mile round trip in the dark to the little town of Fundietonfieldvilleview and back just isn't enough of a test drive for me to make an adequately informed decision, I told him I wasn't going to decide until I drove it in the daytime for a busy day of errand-running to Lowes, Linens & Things and the grocery store. I figured the best way to decide if I wanted to buy it was to put it through a typical day of hardcore shopping just to see if it could keep up. Groceries were no problem, considering that I used to keep the 3rd row seats folded up in the Tahoe, leaving about the same amount of room as in the back of the Edge. Later that day, the Edge had plenty of room for paint for 3 rooms and assorted supplies, the 2 banquet tables and an entire suite of new bedding - comforter, pillows, and all, with plenty of room to spare. The little button in the back hatch area that flips the back seats down was really cool, too.

Honestly, in driving this car and going down from a huge full-size SUV, this car doesn't feel smaller. Aside from the fact that The Man works in the automobile industry, so we can usually get some really awesome deals on cars, one big reason I've driven SUVs is because I am so impossibly tall (all of 5') that being up higher helps me see what's happening around me on the road. A smaller car typically leaves me feeling as if I'm dragging my ass on the ground and can't really see what's going on. I didn't get that "I wish I were up higher," feeling in the Edge. It felt airy and spacious and "up high enough" for me. Speaking of space, the center console is also freakishly huge - big enough for my 13" MacBook - and has a jack for my iPod and a power port (there are 4 of these total) for the charger with a little cutout on the side lip of the console for the iPod cable to slip through. The Man bought the Tahoe for me when I got my Master's (awwww) but so far the only things I'm going to miss about it are the heated seats (much loved on the dozen or so days when it's actually cold outside) and the temperature gauge on the rearview mirror, but I can buy a new rearview that has that so it's no big deal. I won't miss the parking difficulties I've encountered in the last 3 & 1/2 years or paying $60-75 to fill the beast.

In my travels over the last couple of days, I've had no less than 4 people stop me to ask about and look over the car. Of course I've been happy to show it off, even though it's taken me on a little trip in the Wayback Machine to the days when I sold cars. The Girl even likes it. She said the Tahoe was too much of a "Soccer Mom" car and was not cool enough to be a "Band Mom" car. This car, on the other hand, in her humble and considerate nearly 16 year old opinion, is entirely cool enough to be a Band Mom car - or it will be once we get the front windows tinted ;o) Yep - nothin' quite like having a car that the teenager thinks is "pimpable."

Sweet 16 Party

The picture is of the cups I got for The Girl's sweet 16 party next weekend. They have two little glass vials inside that you break kind of like the glow sticks (but a lot more difficult) then the cups glow for about 10 hours. I got them in several colors. Is that just too gawddamn cool, or what? The snack table will have a white tablecloth accented with a piece of fluorescent fun fur and little color-changing stars, and the food will be served on vintage vaseline glass and manganese glass serving pieces, which glow under a blacklight. I'll also be grilling burgers and there will be a huge-ass chocolate cake. The Girl doesn't want a cheese tray, but a Chee-To tray. She's not sure if she wants a punch with dry ice in it for effect or to keep it simple with just soft drinks. DrPepper turns a sickly green under a blacklight but it will be fun to see which foods are blacklight reactive...

Suz and her hubby will be in charge of running the garage, which will be converted to a disco. It will be decked out with a strobe light, tropical-scented fog machine, bubble machine and disco ball and there will be white helium balloons with little colored blinking LED lights in them. They are bringing his ginormous stereo and all their music and they can use my Powerpoint projector if they want to show videos or do karaoke.

The kids can play pool in the gameroom, poker or board games in the sunroom, Guitar Hero II and III on the big screen in the living room. Outside, they can play glow-in-the-dark football, basketball and/or frisbee. The popcorn machine will be set up somewhere out of the way of the pool table, either the patio or the sunroom, and there will be a fire in the fire pit so they can toast marshmallows. The Man will also have a bunch of hay bales on a trailer hooked up to his big white farm truck for the hayride.

With all the festivities planned, a slight problem occurred to me this morning. The Girl's high school football team is going to the playoffs, those games are usually held on Saturday nights, and she has invited the entire band. What do do?

The Audition

The Girl auditioned for the All-District Band yesterday and made 3rd chair out of about 40 high school girls who tried out. The two girls ahead of her were both seniors and everyone below her until the girl in 9th chair (a freshman who is one of my former students, thankyouverymuch), everyone who made the band was either a junior or a senior. All things considered, The Girl made an excellent showing so she can't really complain. The clinic and concert will be next Saturday, then she can work on improving the music for the All-Region Band tryout December 1. The competition will be stiffer then because now that marching season is over, they actually have time to work on the honor band music. At any rate, she was 7th chair All-Region last year with only seniors and 2 juniors ahead of her - yep, you guessed it - the 2 girls who are ahead of her in All-District this year. Taking that into consideration, we expect her to go to Area this year. We'll see. If she doesn't pass Geometry she will be ineligible to compete, and all the work she's done since January will have been in vain. Send her some positive math energy to pull her through.

March-O-Rama

Yeah, that would be the dads' routine at the marching band gigs ;o)

So the kids did an outstanding job and came in 14th in the area. Since only the top 4 bands advance, this means our kids don't get to advance again. They also don't get to even try again for 2 more years, unlike our athletics teams, who have the opportunity to advance every year. In a way that's a good thing - it means that those pre-dark-thirty marching practices have officially ended until next fall. It also means the kids can concentrate on their honor band audition music. The first audition - at the all-district level - is next Saturday, hosted at our local high school. At least we don't have far to drive to get them there.

Are YOU Tough Enough?

The Girl bought a t-shirt at the marching competition Saturday that really sums up the high school marching band experience.

If you think it's hard to:

Carry 45 pound of dead weight on your shoulder and stand up straight

Practice in the heat and perform in the snow

Get along with 200 people you really love (No, really!)

Stand in close proximity to 20 guys hitting drums with everything they've got while bopping your head like you're into it

Blow until your lungs explode

Wear an 80-pound wool uniform in 110 degree heat

Watch your music and the director while exhaling, moving your fingers, coordinating that with your tongue, tapping your foot, while continuously listening to the other players around you so that you can make one of a thousand adjustments

Learn several foreign languages (some of which are completely made up)

Maintain good posture while holding a horn and running the 100 yard dash (some players occasionally faltering, thus making it the 100 yard hurdles)

Understand the subtle difference between "as loud as possible" and "just a little bit louder than that"

Ride the yellow dogs while the football team rides the greyhound

Ask your parents to buy a new horn when they really want to buy you a pig and sign you up for the local chapter of Future Farmers of America

Sell band candy in order to fund your trip to some strange and exotic (often not so strange and exotic) and perhaps not so far away, in fact, it may be better to just eat the candy and stay home

Wear those 1930's q-tip hats we call shakos and chill in public

March for 10 miles in a local band directly behind "The Mighty One Hundred" equestrian team

Play Michael Jackson's Greatest Hits on an oboe

Listen to a bad tuba section - Listen to a good tuba section

Pay more for your instrument than you did for your car

Wear those monkey suits while your parents make it a Kodak moment

Remember to show up to a performance with all the little things that you might need like white gloves, valve oil, YOUR HORN - you know, the little things
Then MAYBE you're not tough enough to be IN THE BAND!

Woohoo Band Nerdz!

So The Girl's band competed at the big march-off today and earned themselves a first division. This means that they get to advance to the All-Area marching competition next weekend. I'm so proud of them. Very tired, sunburned and windburned from sitting in a stadium with no shade, but very very proud. Our little band hasn't advanced to area in about 5 years and hasn't advanced to state in about 10, which was the last time they had new uniforms. Supposedly the school district has promised new uniforms if they make it to state. Send loads of positive energy their way so they can get some decent new gear. Gotta go shower off the sunscreen and sweat & head for bed, but I thought y'all might like to know.

Tales from the Dryer

This conversation took place in my house this morning after I found freshly laundered new clothes (as in just purchased yesterday) on top of the freezer. So I gathered up the still-warm clothing and headed toward The Girl's room to deposit them on her bed so she could hang them in her closet.

Girl (walking in from kitchen, stage left): What are you doing?
Me: Going to put these clothes on your bed.
Girl: Why?
Me: They're clean, aren't they?
Girl: Yeah, but they still smell weird.
Me: Weird? How?
Girl: You know - too new.

Me: O_o

Remind me to be proud of myself for not going into one of those, "When I was your age..." diatribes. For now, I'm just confused.

Dayamn. Where You Been At?

Hi y'all. First, I want to thank everyone who was kind enough to take the time to email or comment to check on me, especially since I missed CCC Monday. No, I didn't meet some untimely demise, but a really really lot has been going on and I've either not had time or energy to get in and make a post, although I have been leaving a comment or two here and there on other people's blogs. I'm okay - quite well, actually - just way busy. Soooo I suppose an update is in order to cover the activities of the last couple of weeks. Settle in, this post is going to run a little long - even for me.

The Girl
We traveled down to the other side of Austin to Texas State University in San Marcos over Memorial Day weekend for the All-State Solo & Ensemble competition. The Girl made a second division on her memorized class I solo. She had a little bauble in the "easier" first movement, and never fully recovered from it. She played the second movement that she was so worried about the memorization almost flawlessly. She had a little stall in the third movement, but overall she did a great job. Then again, they say that a I at region is like a III at state so her II is flippin' awesome for a Freshman, really. She even got a little silver medal to put on her letter jacket - yeah, she lettered when she made All-Region symphonic band back in December. If I haven't mentioned it before, she's a phenomenal flute player. Better than I EVER was, and I was damn good, as in full-ride scholarship good.

I've been watching the situation with the boyfriend and it's not been meeting with my approval, especially since the Hickey Incident that I didn't blog about but has kept me from allowing The Girl to go over to his house again - ever - even with his parents at home, since clearly this type of behavior isn't unacceptable in their world. Recently some of his friends called her to tell her that even though he's been pushing for exclusivity with The Girl, he had sex with another girl at a party at their house, and that they had gotten into a physical altercation with him over it. Naturally, he denied it. To her credit, she told him "You know, whether you did it or didn't do it is irrelevant. I don't need the drama," and broke up with him. The friends called her a few days later to tell her they made it up so she took him back.

She and I went to his high school graduation last week and had an interesting and character-building experience. His family wanted us to sit with them. I was trying to not do that, but they were waiting for us near the entrance (grr). The dad was drunk off his ass, reeking of scotch and behaving inappropriately - big damn surprise. Now, this was the same high school I graduated from over 20 years ago and it was the White Trash Capital of Texas even then but oh. mah. gawd. There didn't appear to be any respect or decorum for the nature of the event. People were there in cutoff shorts, tank tops, flip flops, walking up and down the stairs, talking on their cell phones, screaming and yelling when their graduate's name was called so that the next name couldn't be heard. I couldn't hear any of the speeches over the din of the funkified white trash parade. It was not good and I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I am rather proud of myself for having the self-restraint to not commandeer the microphone and loudly proclaim that the graduation was off and if they would all kindly return to their trailers, the world would be a better place.

The Girl got really upset with me earlier this week over him. I told her I realized he was the first boy who ever really liked her back, but asked her what she could possibly see in him. He doesn't have a job, doesn't have a car, doesn't follow through and is mooching off his best friend & his live-in girlfriend (who are barely scraping by with their high school diplomas and minimum wage jobs) since his dad kicked him out of the house (again). He's been "gonna" get a job since we've known him and hasn't made that happen. He was supposed to swear in to the Army several weeks ago and still hasn't done it, putting him in danger of being arrested, and us being arrested for harboring if he comes to our house. The government is really funny about making sure people who have signed contracts with them hold up their end of the deal, and he doesn't believe that they WILL come after him if he doesn't follow through. Call me neurotic, but I'm not willing to go to jail and lose everything I've worked for for the last 10 years over his skinny ass.

There are millions of guys out there who would love to have a smart, funny, pretty girlfriend like The Girl - guys who understand that a date is when the boy picks the girl up, takes her somewhere and pays for it...not the girl's mama driving over to pick him up in another town (and/or taking him back home), then bringing him back to her house where she has to cook the food that she bought and watch movies for which she paid. He told me once that he wants to be a good husband and father and I told him that in order to be those things, he has to be a good boyfriend first. So far he's not showing me the model of a good boyfriend. I told him that I'm tired of it, tired of her being so worked up over him when he has not proven himself worthy of such drama and that I'm not going to allow her to see him until he gets his act together. Basically I dared him to go out and be successful - then, we'll talk about whether he's acceptable boyfriend material. I've been fortunate to have other strong women like my mom, my best friend and an unsolicited waitress at the ready to reinforce my hard line of "No Scrubs." I don't think I'm being too harsh about this. We'll see if he actually leaves for boot camp July 9th like he's supposed to. I have a sneaking suspicion he'll find more excuses as to why he can't live up to his word.

Between taking her to class with me, shopping for party supplies & band camp gear and having friends over to swim nearly every day, I've been keeping The Girl inordinately busy. She'll be at band camp 150 miles away all next week. Then she'll be too busy helping prepare for 3 parties in just over 3 weeks to even think about boys. Well, except for one of her best girlfriends - Jason, which is a story for another day.

The Home Front
Mother's Day found me with a brand new gas grill that I'm still trying to adjust to the subtleties of proper flame adjustment but I'm getting there (as seen in the above pic of the eastern half of our magic pahhhtio). See, our family is a little back-asswards. Usually it's the dad who does the grilling. Around here, it's me. The Man smokes a To. Die. For. brisket on the 4th of July, but overcooks my steaks, so I don't let him near my grill. The Girl and I like 'em bleeding and twitching and he has never grasped the concept of putting ours on several minutes after his. Besides, with his work schedule he barely has time or energy to eat, much less cook.

Since The Man's daughter and her family moved to a house nearby, we've been spending a lot more time with them. The Man's first wife and her husband have also been spending a lot of time there. It's a little odd to hang out with the first wife but I like her and I guess since it's been over 20 years since they divorced and they have both moved on, it's kind of a good thing. They are planning to come for the 4th.

Speaking of, my house is party central this summer and we have loads of reasons to celebrate. We are hosting 3 parties in the next few weeks. First will be The Man's birthday gathering on the 16th. I'm going to keep it simple and low-key for about 20 guests. I'll be grilling steaks over the fire pit and serving them with salad, baked potatoes and some kind of bread. Instead of birthday cake though, I'm going to make his favorite dessert - coconut meringue pie. The following weekend, Suz, my best friend since age 3 is getting married here. She's hired a kick ass blues band for the party afterwards and has already made arrangements for a couple of kegs and the margarita machine. Cool thing about that is that we know the margarita machine guy - I dated him briefly in high school, we've done business with him for years, and Suz's beloved graduated with his wife and they were really good friends. They'll be here for the party and depending on how much margarita machine business he has between the wedding and the 4th of July, he may just leave the machine here since he'll have to bring it back anyway ;oD. We won't be able to leave the house! My liver is screaming, already... Party number 3 is our legendary annual 4th of July bash, which we will be having on the 4th this year because of The Man's work schedule and our July travel schedule will make having it on either of the surrounding weekends a problem.

The Man
Speaking of The Man, we had a bit of a spat Friday night. Instead of screaming and crying or pouting about the situation, as women are wont to do, I gave him a very sweet Hallmark card, wrote him a heartfelt letter encouraging him to leave his place of employment and gave him the "Get Out of Jail Free" card from the Monopoly game Saturday when he got home from work. I can hear the brakes squealing, now... "WHAT!? You aren't working but you want the breadwinner of the family to quit his job!?" In a word, yes. You see, we were never better as a couple than the year and a half he was unemployed. He was happy farming his hay and cattle and doing a little consulting work on the side. He had energy left over at the end of the day to be "present" with his family and friends - not just taking up space or squeezing them in when he had a minute. He was a better husband, dad, friend, brother...he was just better and we all miss that Man terribly.

The job has literally sucked the life out of him. He leaves for work at 5:30 in the morning and doesn't get home until after 7 in the evening most nights and he has to work every other Saturday - in a place where the company culture is steeped in negativity and crazy-making bullshit. When he gets home he barely has the energy to eat dinner, then he passes out on the sofa in front of the TV and I have to wake him up when I go to bed - and it takes several attempts to rouse him. I've tried to be patient, loving and understanding, but it has taken a toll on our nearly 14-year relationship and has essentially killed our sex life (<--decidedly not good). Unfortunately that was pretty much the first thing to go.

Sure, the money was a little tight but we made it work and considering that we didn't have all the extra expenses like the gas from driving 90 miles a day, $200 a month in dry cleaning, all of the business lunches he pays for, and his work clothes, which includes custom made shirts (our sales rep Ann Atkins is fabulous, by the way), $200 shoes, $40 a pop for ties - on sale...the list goes on...maybe when you factor all that in, the job isn't worth the money.

I want my husband back. Our friends and family want him back, too. We made it before, we can sooo do it again. Besides, I'll be going back to work again soon so that will generate some income aside from what he can draw from the interest in his retirement fund. I saw him slide that little yellow card into his shirt pocket this morning. Keep sending that positive energy his way.

The Dissertation
Okay, so (Queso!? I LOVE queso!) I turned in my dissertation May 22nd, fully expecting to get slammed with another round of revisions. Didn't happen. Wednesday, June 6, I got the "officially official" official notification that I get to defend my dissertation July 19th and graduate July 21. No shit. Cool thing about my program is that they don't let you defend until the dissertation is at a point where they know you cannot fail. I received a few very minor edits from beloved second faculty reader a couple of days ago and talked to him on the phone about them last night. I was seriously prepared for a lot of shit to be thrown at me but he just wants me to expand my discussion section a little and add something about the Yerkes-Dodson Law. Then, once Her Majesty My Dissertation Chair is happy with it, he's happy with it. Of course, she said once he's happy with it, she's happy with it. So if everybody else is happy, I'm happy. Then I have to put together about a 45-minute Keynote (sort of like PowerPoint but way better) presentation about it for July and if there are any more minor edits, I can do them after graduation. Even though I've made all the appropriate travel plans and reservations, addressed the invitations and have ordered the academic regalia and signet ring, (although mine will be antiqued yellow gold with my school seal on top, PhD on one side & 2007 on the other) it doesn't seem real. There will be much partying going on that week, too, it just won't be at my house, but more on that later.

Shit. Now I have to start actively looking for a job. If you know of anyone looking for an already-licensed neuropsychology postdoctoral fellow in the Dallas/Fort Worth or Waco areas, send 'em my way. They won't be disappointed.

I think that's everything for now. The pool's warm enough to get in...I think I'll go do that.