Just when you think things can't get much more fucked-up-ier, the Associate Dean drama takes on a new level of weirdness. Today I get an email from my chair informing me that since Dr. Pet Raccoon gave me a little bit of feedback on a draft of my proposal 3 months ago that he has to officially give his blessing and sign off on any switch in personnel. Oh, and it's up to me to make nice and tell him he's fired without actually telling him that the reason is nobody else likes him or wants to play with him. Greeeeeaaat.
Well hell. The last thing I want to do at this stage of the game is get in the middle of some professional pissing match. One of my lesser-known talents is the ability to tell someone to go to hell and actually make them look forward to the trip. So, dredging up all my best tactics from my previous career in sales, I put together a short but sweet (shut up, Slick, I can TOO be sweet) email stating that "due to unforeseen circumstances that have nothing to do with me or your brief comments several months ago," blah blah blah. I made damn sure to run it by my chair first though in case it came back to bite me in the ass. With her blessing I sent it on and waited. We all know how good I am at that.
In the interim, I get another email from my chair informing me that she'd just gotten an email from Dr. Chest-Starer who thinks that he's on my committee. 0_o Turns out that according to my "permanent record," he is. This weirdness turned out to be a good thing, because it confused the shit out of everyone. When I received the response from Dr. Pet Raccoon a couple of hours later, he graciously honored my polite request to discontinue on my committee and approve Dr. TooSick to continue in his stead. Why the fuck they have to make everything so goddamn complicated is beyond me. Maybe if they didn't do that, they would have nothing to do.
I guess it's like Granddad always said, "If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit."