Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Some Days Are Barely Worth Chewing Through the Restraints

Just when you think things can't get much more fucked-up-ier, the Associate Dean drama takes on a new level of weirdness. Today I get an email from my chair informing me that since Dr. Pet Raccoon gave me a little bit of feedback on a draft of my proposal 3 months ago that he has to officially give his blessing and sign off on any switch in personnel. Oh, and it's up to me to make nice and tell him he's fired without actually telling him that the reason is nobody else likes him or wants to play with him. Greeeeeaaat.

Well hell. The last thing I want to do at this stage of the game is get in the middle of some professional pissing match. One of my lesser-known talents is the ability to tell someone to go to hell and actually make them look forward to the trip. So, dredging up all my best tactics from my previous career in sales, I put together a short but sweet (shut up, Slick, I can TOO be sweet) email stating that "due to unforeseen circumstances that have nothing to do with me or your brief comments several months ago," blah blah blah. I made damn sure to run it by my chair first though in case it came back to bite me in the ass. With her blessing I sent it on and waited. We all know how good I am at that.

In the interim, I get another email from my chair informing me that she'd just gotten an email from Dr. Chest-Starer who thinks that he's on my committee. 0_o Turns out that according to my "permanent record," he is. This weirdness turned out to be a good thing, because it confused the shit out of everyone. When I received the response from Dr. Pet Raccoon a couple of hours later, he graciously honored my polite request to discontinue on my committee and approve Dr. TooSick to continue in his stead. Why the fuck they have to make everything so goddamn complicated is beyond me. Maybe if they didn't do that, they would have nothing to do.

I guess it's like Granddad always said, "If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit."

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Slick said...

And I'm sure you have no problem with "bullshit bafflin'"

So, who the hell is on your committee? Dr. Chest-Starer or Dr. TooSick??

And who's on first base??

Natalia said...

OMG! And here I was bitching inside my head because I have not met with my chair and he has yet to find out about the IRB training and how he is not under contract for Summer, which means that if I want to take dissertation hours, I'd have to take them with someone else. But yours is more stressful and weird. So I will shut up and just feel bad for you instead.


drsharna said...

Slick honey with brains & a background like mine, it's rarely a problem to come up with bullshit. 'Specially since I look like a sweet, innocent band mom. --That's me in the middle in case there's any doubt. In case you missed it, Dr. TooSick's on First.

Natalia, regardless of the bullshit we have to wade through in the dissertation process, it's all relatively the same. I flew through IRB stuff but I'm using archival data so it was a no-brainer. My problems have been with the 3-ring rodeo (great band, by the way) of my dissertation committee playing musical chairs, wanting to compare penis size and not playing well together. Hopefully that's all cleared up but you never know. Keep your fingers crossed. I have to have all 4 chapters in complete rough in by May 1 to walk in July.