Saturday, April 7, 2007

Waiting Is...

Aaaarrrrrggghhhhh. Unlike Valentine Michael Smith, I do not grok waiting. If you've been following my dissertation tale of woe, (and seriously, who hasn't??) you know that in the wee hours of Monday morning I submitted the latest revision of my dissertation proposal to my core committee members. I'm irritated that although they always want shit from me right fucking now, they don't proffer their feedback until they're goddamn good and ready. Gr.

So what to do in the interim? There is one smallish Neuropsychology course paper I need to write for Much Beloved and Brilliant Reader #2 so I can complete the Neuropsychology certificate. Yeah, you guessed it - extra work - I'm all about the extra work, baybee. You should see my fucking transcript. My program requires 155 credits to graduate. To date I have 209 and I haven't even finished the dissertation or this one little elective paper that I can crank out in a weekend. Fucking overachiever.

My biggest problem seems to stem from that in trying to finish in under the average 7 years it typically takes a person to earn a Ph.D., I am so conditioned to always be doing something productive that I've forgotten how to just chill out and relax. Downtime is actually anxiety-producing for me these days. I tried to get a pedicure the other day and the sweet little old Cambodian lady who was taking care of me kept asking if I was okay and telling me, "Reraaax, honey...reraaax. I take care of yuuu. Reraaaax." Tragic, really. There she was - barely able to speak English, not even from our culture and she could see my restlessness just as easily as the funk she was sanding from my heels. Which begs the question: when I am finally shed of the giant malodorous putrified dissertation albatross around my neck, will I ever be able to just reraaax again?

Okay, that's enough self-analysis. Back to work.

It's SNOWING! WTF!?? (The view from the sunroom - click to enlarge).Dunno who's more confused - me or the hummingbirds...

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Natalia said...

Ummmm see I call my dissertation proposal or prospectus what I did prior to writing it. But by our previous convos and your posts, I am assuming you are speaking of the latest revision to your actual chapters, right?

Either's just blood-chilling, mind-numbing, heart-arresting.

Oh...and world-warping.

*fingers crossed for you*


drsharna said...

Right, by proposal I mean the first 2 chapters. What you're referring to as a prospectus is called a concept paper in my program.

I just wish they were in as much of a hurry to give my feedback as they were to receive the document from me.

BTW, it's STILL snowing. Weird as hell - it's been in the 80's & 90's for the better part of the last month.

thethinker said...

This freakishly cold weather is confusing me, too.